San Francisco

I just got back yesterday from, what they call, "The Triple A's" (American Anthropology Association's Annual Meeting). This year it was held in San Francisco. WOW. Is all I can say. I can't believe how many (6,500 to be exact), Anthropologists were in one area. It was an amazing and inspiring experience to say the least. I found myself totally engulfed in each presentation, each of different research, in a different country, at a different University, on different topics. From educational systems, to HIV/AIDS, to transgender people, to the history of Mescal, to Mexican Migrant Farm workers, to different views on what suffering and healing are, to poetry readings, to anything you can think of! I mean look at this program. 

The city was beautiful. From the water all the way to the tall buildings. Here is a picture from a Meet and Greet I went to on the 40th floor!! 

The trolleys were great too! Such a distinctive part of San Francisco, so different, yet such a beautiful thing.

After wandering around the city, through the Mission District, I hopped a cab, and got my own little tour of the city, Little Italy, which now is inhabited with a large Chinese population, the richer sections of town, Lombard Street, and down to the Fisherman's Warf. I hopped out- as the ocean is my place to go when I need to be at peace, and think. So I found a great place to grab some food, and a glass of wine. It overlooked the bay, and I felt completely at peace as I journaled and processed. I even had a cute little lunch date!

I met up with an old band friend from high school, and we went around the Haight Street area. Here's an old, functioning cash register from the 50's!! 

As we talked about band, and music, I recalled how music is the universal language- where two people who understand it can communicate. I reflect on how, even if the verbal languages are different, music can connect us. Even though I have strayed from m own Blues/Jazz playing, I can relate to anyone who appreciates music. A few nights earlier I had wandered into a Jazz restaurant, and truly felt the music again, running through my bones, as if I was the Saxophone player, jamming out in the basement of my high school friend's house, like we would do for hours on end. 

But the most beautiful was seeing all of these adults who had followed there passions. It was overwhelming and intimidating, being surrounded by so many well-traveled, and intelligent people. But, it definitely set a bar, gave me some guidelines as to what I want to do with my life. I got to meet so many great people, Professors, MA and PhD Students, Retired Anthropologists, etc. I have found some schools where I would fit in, and be able to use my Spanish in my studies. I am writing this blog as a break from some of those applications. I have heard they are intense, and long, but so worth it once you're accepted to a program. So let's cross our fingers!!

This trip to San Francisco has opened my eyes to the possibilities. I am even more excited for my trip to Uganda, that begins two weeks from today. Though excited, I do have some fears regarding the reflection aspect of the trip. Every other time I have traveled to another country I have had a group of Americans to fall back on. I sit and contemplate who I may connect with there, who I can talk about home with. I debate the venture without a companion. I will definitely have to stay in contact with friends and family from home. I assume there will be other volunteers, and people to talk to. The native language is English, so maybe I will just have to communicate and share with others. I suppose each time we enter a new culture, we do need to reflect, but maybe it will give me a new sense of power reflecting on my own, in my journal. A new sense of independence, a new strength. I suppose as a future-Anthropologist, I will need to learn this technique and a a way to cope on my own, since that's what I'll be doing in the field.

In my travels, I have also been reflecting a lot about love, and service,  the following are some quotes I have found particularly warming, and encouraging...

"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." -- Mahatma Gandhi

"You are what you do, not what you say you'll do." --C.G. Jung

"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go." --Mother Teresa

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world." --Harriet Tubman

"My Wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to, your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small, you never need to carry more than you can hold, and while you're out there getting where you're getting to, I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too." --Rascal Flatts (Often repeated to me by my Mom. Love you, Mom)

"If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." --Unknown

What makes you come alive?

So this will be a quick update, as I am getting ready to go to work. Five shifts in a row stand between me and San Francisco. I have been working hard, and saving that $$ for my trip, knowing how worth it, it will be.

I have been thinking about how different people spend their particular money, and how each person makes choices as how to live their life. I have been making a conscious effort to make sure that everything I do, and everything I buy, is for the betterment of myself. Do I really NEED that? or do I WANT it? Two completely different things.

On monday I am scheduled for an appointment with the health travel clinic. I will be getting a few shots, and malaria meds. Should be a blast. I am getting really excited for my trip, but know that the time between now and then is going to fly right by.

I always wondered where my love for people and cultures came from, and I think it just comes from within us. Each of us has a passion and a calling in life, and we must follow it. I was talking to my Grandma yesterday, and she told me in 1948 she left home and her and her friend went to the west coast, where she worked and traveled before marrying my Papa Joe. I think that it is so important to have that time apart, time to follow your individual dreams, and figure out what you as an individual wants. We have so much time to grow as two, and create a life. Though our culture creates very independent people, I can definitely see how we are so giving to one another. For a long time, I mad sacrifices for others happiness, or made choices in my life in order to make someone else's better. I think this is good, except for when we are sacrificing ourselves. We need to go out and make ourselves happy and then it will change the world.

As Howard Thurman said, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

What makes you come alive?

Removing constraints in order to the achieve goals and follow dreams

Carpe Diem. This is a Latin phrase that I learned and adapted from my host sister in Ecuador. “Toma el dia, aprovecha el momento, viva su vida al maximo.” Live your life to the fullest, everyday, seize the day. I have kept this with me ever since. I believe that every day has something to offer us, each natural wonder we see, each person that comes into our life, maybe just once at a Lulu Lemon Barn Party, or once in Uncommon Grounds, or a slow brunch at the Farmhouse Expo line, each conversation we have, each interaction builds us and creates us to become the person we want to be.

A little over a year ago I graduated from college, with a double major in Spanish and Anthropology. You’re asking the same thing I did, what do you do with that? When I was in college, it didn’t matter, because those two subjects were what I was passionate about, and I have always been that kid who works her bum off to get what she wants, I have always been one to follow my heart, not my head. So in college, when they said a job in the Anthropology field is one of the hardest fields to find one in, I said, bring it on real world. Since I was little, I have always gone out and done the things people told me I couldn’t.

They said I could never run more than a lap around the track; I went out and beat every girl and most of the guys in a one mile fitness test. Then they said I couldn’t do more than a mile, so I went out and ran the Falmouth Road Race.

They benched me on the Varsity team for softball, so what did I do? Worked my hardest and became a starter and captain of a Division II college softball team.

My high school Spanish teacher told me I wouldn’t be able to take AP Spanish because I didn’t have the natural ability, and I wasn’t good enough, and probably wouldn’t come out with a grade much higher than a “C”, so what did I do? Signed up for AP Spanish, and got a B+. Then when I moved on to college, despite the fact I passed out of the language requirements, my first semester Spanish teacher told me I was a terrible Spanish speaker and I should choose another field. So I declared my major in Spanish. Then when I went back to my high school Spanish teacher to tell her I was majoring in Spanish, she laughed at me. So. What did I do? Studied abroad in Ecuador, and struggled at first, but became fluent in Spanish. I was able to joke around, knew all the social cues, etc.

The next person to tell me I couldn’t do something was myself. When I graduated college, I told myself I couldn’t get a good job, I told myself I couldn’t travel. I told myself my loans would never go down, and I would never be able to see the world, or do the things I loved. Despite the encouragement from my best friend and love of my life, I believed myself. I kept trucking along, working 80 hour weeks, and never saving any money. There was always something that came in the way, Rent, School Loans, crashed my car, so I needed to buy a new one, weddings, vacations, etc. I never had ENOUGH. Let me tell you, it was really easy for me to make up excuses for myself, as to why I was staying, what was holding me back.

Then, some higher power told me to go to New Moon for a nice cob salad. I don’t know why, because I had only been once. As soon as I walked in, I knew why. My Anthropology professor, and life role model, was there, after talking to her she said there was a need for volunteers at the orphanage she is involved with in Uganda. I realized this was my calling, between my guilt of knowing there is someone out there that needs help, and my guilt of my selfish lifestyle of working and going out with friends over powered every excuse. So I started the application process and as soon as I knew it I had been approved to work in that orphanage in Uganda.

I reached out to another Anthropology professor, who I would love to grow up to be one day, who told me I had a special thing. She said that I carried an ability that not everyone has, to just go somewhere alone and make something of it. She said few people carry the ability to not know what’s going to happen tomorrow, and the ability to make friends and make something of every experience. This sat with me for a while as I realized that I am the spontaneous, independent type, and people like us can’t be caged in Vermont, that I must open the door and take flight. She encouraged me to venture to the American Anthropology Association Annual Conference in San Francisco, where I would be able to meet people with similar goals and dreams, and hopefully be inspired by them.

I took steps to better my life, and create the life I wanted as an individual, as a traveler, and as a person passionate to make a change in this world. Simultaneously, things with the love of my life started to get a bit rocky, I think things always do when you love someone so much and know they are thinking of traveling thousands of miles away without you. I didn’t really know how to deal with balancing love of a person and a passion for life. Frustration built, and fell apart, every conversation was a fight. Things ended and started up again numerous times, until one time when they ended and I booked that flight to Uganda. I didn’t have ENOUGH money to book the flight and support myself over there, but somehow I made it work, that’s what love and passions so in life, things that are worthwhile always seem to work their way out.

I think in life we have this want for things to begin and end, occur, come into our life, when we want them to, when it’s convenient, when we have enough money, when we’re happy on our own- but that’s the opposite of how it happens. Now, I have a plane ticket to Uganda, and a broken heart. I like to think that despite the circumstances, everything happens for a reason. We need to trust the process. Things will work out the way they need to in the world. Maybe things needed to end in my relationship so I could fulfill a dream that I have wanted my whole life. Maybe that relationship isn’t over, and will begin again in a better time and place.

In ten days I will be heading to San Francisco for an Anthropology conference. In 23 days I will leave Burlington, Vermont, the city that has held me in the palm of its hand for too long. And in 31 days I will be on a plane to Uganda. Materialistically, I will carry little in my backpack, but in my heart I will hold all of the people and experiences that have empowered me to be brave enough to follow my dreams. Please follow my blog throughout the pre-departure, as well as while I am in Uganda. As you do, I ask you to think about your own personal goals and dreams in life, and never, ever let anything constrain you from doing them.  Carpe Diem.