Removing constraints in order to the achieve goals and follow dreams

Carpe Diem. This is a Latin phrase that I learned and adapted from my host sister in Ecuador. “Toma el dia, aprovecha el momento, viva su vida al maximo.” Live your life to the fullest, everyday, seize the day. I have kept this with me ever since. I believe that every day has something to offer us, each natural wonder we see, each person that comes into our life, maybe just once at a Lulu Lemon Barn Party, or once in Uncommon Grounds, or a slow brunch at the Farmhouse Expo line, each conversation we have, each interaction builds us and creates us to become the person we want to be.

A little over a year ago I graduated from college, with a double major in Spanish and Anthropology. You’re asking the same thing I did, what do you do with that? When I was in college, it didn’t matter, because those two subjects were what I was passionate about, and I have always been that kid who works her bum off to get what she wants, I have always been one to follow my heart, not my head. So in college, when they said a job in the Anthropology field is one of the hardest fields to find one in, I said, bring it on real world. Since I was little, I have always gone out and done the things people told me I couldn’t.

They said I could never run more than a lap around the track; I went out and beat every girl and most of the guys in a one mile fitness test. Then they said I couldn’t do more than a mile, so I went out and ran the Falmouth Road Race.

They benched me on the Varsity team for softball, so what did I do? Worked my hardest and became a starter and captain of a Division II college softball team.

My high school Spanish teacher told me I wouldn’t be able to take AP Spanish because I didn’t have the natural ability, and I wasn’t good enough, and probably wouldn’t come out with a grade much higher than a “C”, so what did I do? Signed up for AP Spanish, and got a B+. Then when I moved on to college, despite the fact I passed out of the language requirements, my first semester Spanish teacher told me I was a terrible Spanish speaker and I should choose another field. So I declared my major in Spanish. Then when I went back to my high school Spanish teacher to tell her I was majoring in Spanish, she laughed at me. So. What did I do? Studied abroad in Ecuador, and struggled at first, but became fluent in Spanish. I was able to joke around, knew all the social cues, etc.

The next person to tell me I couldn’t do something was myself. When I graduated college, I told myself I couldn’t get a good job, I told myself I couldn’t travel. I told myself my loans would never go down, and I would never be able to see the world, or do the things I loved. Despite the encouragement from my best friend and love of my life, I believed myself. I kept trucking along, working 80 hour weeks, and never saving any money. There was always something that came in the way, Rent, School Loans, crashed my car, so I needed to buy a new one, weddings, vacations, etc. I never had ENOUGH. Let me tell you, it was really easy for me to make up excuses for myself, as to why I was staying, what was holding me back.

Then, some higher power told me to go to New Moon for a nice cob salad. I don’t know why, because I had only been once. As soon as I walked in, I knew why. My Anthropology professor, and life role model, was there, after talking to her she said there was a need for volunteers at the orphanage she is involved with in Uganda. I realized this was my calling, between my guilt of knowing there is someone out there that needs help, and my guilt of my selfish lifestyle of working and going out with friends over powered every excuse. So I started the application process and as soon as I knew it I had been approved to work in that orphanage in Uganda.

I reached out to another Anthropology professor, who I would love to grow up to be one day, who told me I had a special thing. She said that I carried an ability that not everyone has, to just go somewhere alone and make something of it. She said few people carry the ability to not know what’s going to happen tomorrow, and the ability to make friends and make something of every experience. This sat with me for a while as I realized that I am the spontaneous, independent type, and people like us can’t be caged in Vermont, that I must open the door and take flight. She encouraged me to venture to the American Anthropology Association Annual Conference in San Francisco, where I would be able to meet people with similar goals and dreams, and hopefully be inspired by them.

I took steps to better my life, and create the life I wanted as an individual, as a traveler, and as a person passionate to make a change in this world. Simultaneously, things with the love of my life started to get a bit rocky, I think things always do when you love someone so much and know they are thinking of traveling thousands of miles away without you. I didn’t really know how to deal with balancing love of a person and a passion for life. Frustration built, and fell apart, every conversation was a fight. Things ended and started up again numerous times, until one time when they ended and I booked that flight to Uganda. I didn’t have ENOUGH money to book the flight and support myself over there, but somehow I made it work, that’s what love and passions so in life, things that are worthwhile always seem to work their way out.

I think in life we have this want for things to begin and end, occur, come into our life, when we want them to, when it’s convenient, when we have enough money, when we’re happy on our own- but that’s the opposite of how it happens. Now, I have a plane ticket to Uganda, and a broken heart. I like to think that despite the circumstances, everything happens for a reason. We need to trust the process. Things will work out the way they need to in the world. Maybe things needed to end in my relationship so I could fulfill a dream that I have wanted my whole life. Maybe that relationship isn’t over, and will begin again in a better time and place.

In ten days I will be heading to San Francisco for an Anthropology conference. In 23 days I will leave Burlington, Vermont, the city that has held me in the palm of its hand for too long. And in 31 days I will be on a plane to Uganda. Materialistically, I will carry little in my backpack, but in my heart I will hold all of the people and experiences that have empowered me to be brave enough to follow my dreams. Please follow my blog throughout the pre-departure, as well as while I am in Uganda. As you do, I ask you to think about your own personal goals and dreams in life, and never, ever let anything constrain you from doing them.  Carpe Diem.